Commonwealth rolls out Ground-Hawk Day: HCT raptor replaces rodent as state weather expert
Move over Punxsutawney Phil. There’s a new weather forecaster in town.
In a shocking but necessary move to ensure accurate meteorological prognostication, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has given groundhogs the pink slip, and adopted the Harwich Conservation Trust (HCT) Ground-Hawk as the official arbiter of how long winter will last in the Bay State.
A Cooper’s hawk made its way into Harwich Conservation Trust’s otter den at the Robert F. Smith Cold Brook Preserve on Nov. 11, triggering a motion sensor camera in the underground chamber. The bird had to travel at least 18 feet through a pipe to reach the human-made den, highly unusual behavior for the species.
Citing the unreliability of groundhogs, state officials felt compelled to switch animal forecasters for the safety of citizens, and because hawks are “cooler” than the portly rodents.
“Groundhogs hibernate for much of the winter,” said Department of Radar and Inclement Precipitation (DRIP) spokesperson Raynor Schein. “They are often too hungry and sleepy to decipher complex weather patterns. The last time I asked a groundhog about El Niño, he nibbled my ankle.”
State raptor expert Cotton DaTalon agreed that the change made sense. “This hawk is a genius,” he said. “Not only can it predict the weather, it recently fixed my computer, and then beat me at Parcheesi.”
The Ground-Hawk rose to fame after braving a nearly 20-foot-long underground pipe to check out HCT’s human-made otter den at the Robert F. Smith Cold Brook Preserve.
The otter den, which may be the first of its kind in the country, is equipped with an interior and exterior solar powered camera. While the hawk was the biggest celebrity visitor, other animals have also ventured into the subterranean chamber for a look-see, including an otter, a raccoon, a rabbit and a muskrat.
Naturalists and construction engineers were astounded by the hawk’s unusual behavior. Avian aficionados had never heard of a hawk traveling below ground for such a distance. “I am convinced that this bird could escape from Alcatraz,” said tunnel consultant Lotta Burrows. “Forecasting the weather is tough, but this bird is dynamite.”
Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey has tasked HCT with holding a naming contest for the courageous Cooper’s hawk. Early contenders are “Harwich Houdini,” “Nostrahawkus” and “Beaky Smartypants.”
Name submissions are still being accepted at info@harwichconservationtrust.org.
Recognizing that weather conditions on Cape Cod tend to be up in the air until the kids get out of school, the Ground-Hawk Day ceremony is scheduled for April 1st, a date synonymous with planting peas and the issuance of preposterous press releases. Happy Spring!
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